dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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