you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
