If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
