So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize