Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
