Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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