guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
