This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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