i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
