i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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