Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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