sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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