Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize