Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I love having hate sex.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
