Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
