I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
