i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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