I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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