Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
