id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
