im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
