I heard we made out
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
