Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
