She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
