aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
