HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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