so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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