i'm signing you up for texting rehab
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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