first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
