SEEEEXXX PLEASE
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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