Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize