Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
How's work?
Spinning.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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