Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
