did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
