Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
