i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
