perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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