started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
