She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I just found a bag of teeth...
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
