currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
