is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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