Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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