That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
