we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
