i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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