Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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