I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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