Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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