Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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