Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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