I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
