I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
