Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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