the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
