When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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