i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
