What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
