fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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