She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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