me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
