I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
